exes

It seems that it’s about the season for everyone to be bugged about exes. Everyone I know seems has this exes problem. Or maybe it’s me then? Do I bring this exes issue back to the people I know? Or is it just after so many romance cliché in life, it’s time for exes to back on stage?

When and how do we stop letting exes haunted us? When we said move on and get over with someone, does that mean I already let exes out of our lifes? Or we simply just need to move on so we have to get over with exes?
What if exes keep coming back and they just do what exactly they did last time, or couple last times? Do we still allow them to do this us or does the so-called move-on or label this person as an ex help us to stop hurting by them?
What if exes are still around us everyday encounters? Are we prepared to face the exes everyday life? What should we say or do in front of the exes? What can we talk about exes in front of our friends?

Here comes an un-expecting question: What does EX really mean then?

One of my young friend, she got an ex keeping texting her and asked her about having ‘FUN’ from now and then. Wake up call for the earlier thirty me, it’s 21 century. It’s alright to have fun here and there. She told us this in front of all the colleges. I was quite surprised to learn this in the public place. I’d have thought it’s a more private conversation between closed friends. However, here we go. Amazingly, she seems to be bugged by this ex keeps contacting him, but she is not pissed when he hinted her that whether she was free to have some fun. She seemed rather flattered and pleased.
Another friend was with his ex for like couple years, from different countries. His ex took off because couldn’t stand the situation in Taipei. However, his ex never gave up on him even it’s his ex who wanted to end up this at the very beginning. My friend dated couple times, met some people, and had some fun. 6 months later, his ex made a propose, and couple weeks later, he flied to a foreign country for his ex, well his present now.

One friend works with ex. It’s always not easy. They keep it secret from other friends, by friends, I meant friends from work. It was quite sweet and nice at the beginning. They are about the same age, and working in the same area, which should imply same interests sometimes. One day, my friend’s ex just decided to end this relationship out of the blue. Mainly because this ex couldn’t handle the relationship and took some responsibilities in a relationship. As friends, we were all furious and mad at this ex. The working situation has not been better either. Since it’s a secret, no one knows but you two. Since it didn’t end up good, by the way, when does a relationship end up good? It was not that NOT awkward to work together. Everything becomes personal when it shouldn’t be or it couldn’t be, and of course, there are something personals. It is harder to get over or move on your ex especially when you have to see them every single week day, not mention from time to time, there are some friendly invitations for some occasions during the weekends. Confusing and expectations all build up again.

One friend bought a house with the ex. Well he was the one wanted to end up the relationship and he was also the one who wanted to still be friends. I don’t know whether they couldn’t afford to find another place to stay or just simple they thought they could be friends so that they could just still live together. People choose different life styles, and this friend just simply have another different life style after broke up which his ex just couldn’t take. A fight comes as a result. Everything seems so ugly and un-happy at that moment. Couple months later, they met again and everything seems fine.

One friend tried to break up with her lover, then couple days or weeks later. They were back together, and then the exact same things happened again, and again and again. Finally, they got engaged, and they are marring each other this year, even though the exact same debates, breaking-up, apologies, comforting still there even now. We friends are all happy for them, but is there any ex-period for them? Or is it just a game for them to keep them refresh their romance and feelings towards each other?

One friend met his ex via his friend. It was love at the first sight. This ex is too bossy in the relationship, and very demanded. It come very fast and ended very fast as well. However, this ex just couldn’t get over this for a long time. We all believe this ex just lived up her own expectation in the relationship that she was manipulating too much so it would go to the way she wanted. She kept calling, sending gifts, and gestures, reminding her concerns and caring for my friend. Nothing could be done or changed at the end but avoiding and hiding.

Never-have-exes-earlier-thirty man looked all these and thinks, maybe it’s good to not have exes, which once I heard from a friend. But back to the first question I had in mind, you looked all these friends and their exes and most importantly their inter-activities with their exes, what does ex mean? Or should I rephrase it, what does ex mean nowadays?

21 century is a wild century. You have various status as in couples in monogamous, couple in open relationship, dating/seeing someone, sex buddies, fixed sex buddy, divorce couple but still keep contacting each other, married couple but in an open relationship, couples looking for multi-person fun, etc. Not mentioned all the bonding with all the exes. Everyone nowadays always tries to be friends with exes, sometimes too friendly so that it’s pretentious or …erotic.
Since one simple relationship gets so complicated which means the inter-activities among two or more persons are getting complicated as well. We have to live in this big city, in this small world, we can not simple just stop everything because of one or two persons. So what can we do about it?
Some people take the high road, so people take the nasty ways. If it’s a secret, what does it matter how you treat each other? If we are all wearing masks in front of other people, why not just wear another one in front of your exes?

Does the meaning of ex swift from last romance to last intimacy friend, last romance from last time romance, or simply just sex without ‘S’uperior? What about those still haunted by the exes in mind, what about those still love their exes? Does ex not mean an end anymore? Or is it always just a one-way road from the one who left?

People all learn things from past, from experience. Exes should be good for human to learn about relationship and sex. But if exes have a room in mind, and never go away, is it fair to move on? Is it fair to your next possible ex in the future? Is it fair for you? Surrounding by all these exes in this season, thinking maybe there will be a huge discount at the end of this ex season, and when that comes, we could just get a big discount off the exes from our mind.