Party end

Don't you always have a feeling that you are distant from a certain group and you know already at the beginning that this is what you put yourself into, but still you feel a little bit left over?

You know the isolation from certain group that even everyone is chatting you but you still don't feel that you belong to something! That's the distance you never can get rid off and you will always have.

I can't stop thinking deeper that where is this feeling come from? I know that I am just being jealous but again when I look at myself I work hard enough, it's not just you want to be awarded. It's like Oscar, of course all the spot goes to all the actors and actress, but at least, they reward those people behind the scene!

You want to feel you are part of the team but again you are just part of yourself.

So tired and lost now, maybe it's the loneliness after the party, maybe it's just some low pay White collar complaining about life and career, or maybe it's just me can't find a balance between reality and fantasy.

On the way home, thoughts keep coming up and can't get rid off. Threading these thoughts, I am struggling to get a breathe from the gap. Breathe in and out, in and out, ...

Mike from iPhone

Work

It has been up and down for me doing this position.

I do love this job and I do work hard, but ask me to give up my life and devout myself TOTALLY into this job is totally another thing.

When you work hard to some level, and you lost the reason when you came to this job, isn't it bit confusing and frustrated? How do you mend a situation like this? I really don't know!

If you don't want to sacristy yourslef to your job, why does that make you a bad employer? How much more so toy have to do in order to price yourself?

What if what you have been doing is not exact what your boss what, then aren't I wasting all the time of myself? Doesn't that mean no matter how hard you work, you could prove nothing to no one but yourself?

There is only two possible explanations, one, you don't have whatever it takes to do this job properly. Two, your boss just don't appreciate what you have been doing or you are not doing what you are expected to do.

Either way, doesn't it make you wonder then why on earth are you doing here? I know it's not happen everyday that you'd get a job you have been dreaming of nor that you'd find a job with a perfect boss!

However, for the long run, don't you think it's something you really need to put into consideration as your career? You wanna work for yourself eventually one day, no?

Weekend, after two days working in Kaohsiung and two weeks non stop OT, you are putting thoughts for yourself.

Mike from iPhone