Party end

Don't you always have a feeling that you are distant from a certain group and you know already at the beginning that this is what you put yourself into, but still you feel a little bit left over?

You know the isolation from certain group that even everyone is chatting you but you still don't feel that you belong to something! That's the distance you never can get rid off and you will always have.

I can't stop thinking deeper that where is this feeling come from? I know that I am just being jealous but again when I look at myself I work hard enough, it's not just you want to be awarded. It's like Oscar, of course all the spot goes to all the actors and actress, but at least, they reward those people behind the scene!

You want to feel you are part of the team but again you are just part of yourself.

So tired and lost now, maybe it's the loneliness after the party, maybe it's just some low pay White collar complaining about life and career, or maybe it's just me can't find a balance between reality and fantasy.

On the way home, thoughts keep coming up and can't get rid off. Threading these thoughts, I am struggling to get a breathe from the gap. Breathe in and out, in and out, ...

Mike from iPhone

Coffee and London

I am in the starbucks with the wrong pair of shoes drinking the hot grande non fat latte.

What a nice Sunday afternoon!

Been to the department store like usual and shopping for several books, well before that you got to evaluate your possible mood for the coming weeks to prepare what kind of books you wanna digest.

Funny that you would realize ham you are exploring the bookshore, you'd find out that some 'story' you prefer to see of on screen rather than books, even you know that it is going to me much more details and fun in the book. Guess I am not much an 'imaginary' person!

It's been a while I am home alone for the weekend. Remind me a lot of my stay at London. Life is so different of course, but again I worked my ass off to this job and I do love this job. Will I trade off what I have now to staying in London?

This is not even a fair question to begin with, who knows what I would have if I stayed in London? But LV? Guess it's not just something you could just give up, even just an assistant!

But the thought of comapring these two together, I realized I am not over London yet, I am not sure whether I could ever do that in my life, especially when the end turned out so ugly and wrong!

How could you get over the thought of 'what if'? I guess that's something I've never gotten off with, and you know what, I don't even wanna get over!

Mike blogged from iPhone

On the way back home

Just realise that it has been a while since last time I wrote something for my blog.

After using this new mobile, everything is still learning and trying to get used to thr GUI and keyborad.

Life hasn't been easy for me recently, even BBB has changed her attitude. I am not sure whether it's because I am doing better than before or what. Only who knows when everything will change back again.

From my experience, retail never goes along with merchandising. Who knows what day whay will happen and it becomes my fault or my responsibility. You just have to be careful and do things in a more discrete way.

I am sure everyone has their own standard and expectation. There is never a perfect way for one thing. The best we could do, I suppose is to try to find a way everyone can understand and accept. Yet this is based on, of course, everyone is on board to reach the same target with the same mind. Otherwise, everything is just like total useless and at the end, everyone is just trying to find someone to blame on.

That's life. What you gonna do about it? Like we always say to ourselves: do your best and do what you can. The rest is up to fate. What is yours is yours.

Mike blogged from X1

A Toast to My Best Friends' Weddings

Just realise that I'd be in KHH all next week until Nov 1, so guess I won't be seeing you again before you guys leave.

Wanna take this chance to say thank you very much and I know u guys have been doing so much for this weddings, sorry, engagement.
It's really not that easy to find someone in this world, believe me, I've been trying. You guys are so lucky. I never got the good chances to really know ur other halves. But from what I learn from you guys and what had been thru for you two couples, I really feel that this is the existing evidence of happily ever.

There is no perfect marriage nor perfect couple, despite all the crap movies and novels told us. The important is I see you guys are working so hard for this to work. With all the differences, all the distance, all the secrets, all the sad and happy, you guys still work thru.
when I stood next the stage, I looked at you two couples, I looked the expression when you looked at each other. I told myself, that is love, that is the commitment you make for each other no matter good or bad.
Congratulations. I really never got the chances to say how happy I am for you guys and how touched I am when I knew how Maurizio and Aingaran are willingly to cooperate and do all this. I am sure after all this, there should be nothing can stand between you guys.

There is no guarantee for always happy, but I am not worried at all. Cause I now know, no matter what happened, you have each other and you will work together to pass all. That's genuine, and that's sincere.
Just for the record, I am not a big fan of weddings, nor attending one, only for really good friends.

If I had a glass now, I'd raise mine and wish u all the best. I'd like to make this as a toast I might not be able to attend your weddings in the uk or in italy.

I wish all the happiness for you.

Mike Toasted from E71

Beer

It's the time when you realise that beer doesn't taste that good when drinking alone.

It's the time when you realise actual you enjoy more drinking with your friends than the beer.

So how do you like your beer?

Mike blogged from E71

Moron

不了解，到底是我那裡出了問題？
為何我總是做出這些無聊又低能的事？
是我天生就容易吸引這種事、這種人？還是是我自己的個性造成的？

把自己累到要死，還一直怕做不好…
明知道自己好累了，但還是一直停不住地一直做…

難道我做得還不夠多嗎？就算我曾有錯，還要懲罰多久？

我突然對自己的疲累感到無限的低能！
可憐之人必有可恨之處…

增恨起我自己，似乎也掩蓋不了我的低能！

Gym

It's like never, since I started this job. Where is my time all go to?

After I got back at the end of 2005, never a good time, good mood to keep exercising. Maybe just excuses, but the FIT and HEALTHY me are 'gone with LONDON'. Instead, the old slumpy, chubby, lazy Mike has returned.

Finally, took the chance to join the gym, but just like what I expected, my life hasn't settled down yet. So many expected and surprise are filling my time. Even I got time sometimes, I jusy don't feel energetic enough to move my fat ass up to the gym. Just so pathetic.

After almost 11 months working in this job, feeling like everything is on the trend and stablising. All the way back to home and gym, it's bit too much for me.

Good thing that my friend and his wife are going to the gym near the office. Prepared like my very first time to the gym, I met them there around seven thirty.

One hour is like so little contributing to my fat burning plan, I jogged. Now, I am on the MRT to home, wondering... How about Wed? Say, try to make it at least twice a week first, and maybe three times? Listening the announcement of my stop, my legs are aching and my mind is... blank...

Mike blogged from E71

Website

Yesterday, I was chatting with someone from website. You know from one of those 'friends making' places.

Out of the blue, one question was thrown on my face, 'why did you come to the website?' I was so blank at that moment and I didn't know what to say. Well, actually, the first thought came to me is: what the hxxl is this question? I almsot shouted back as then what the heck are you chatting with me then?

Blimey, it's like, when you went to a restaurent and then the owner, or the staff, or even the worst, the chef asked you: why did you come to restaurent? Hello~ to eat, okay? What else you go to a restaurent? Fine, I will give you to-use-toilet!

What upsetted me is not this question, but what this incident reminds me.

The other day, I HAD to go out and dealed some errands. Just like all parents around the world, where are you going? Whom are you going with? When will you come back? Even when you stay put at home, questions never end. (FYI, it is the culture thing to live with family.)

In order to avoid TOO many questions on my day off, I decided to go out for a bit and maybe a lunch out.

So you figured it shouldn't be that hard to find a friend to come out for a quick lunch. Well at least for me, it's really not that much to ask.

Going through the phone book, digging your memory of closed friends. Finally, you realised that there is NO ONE!

The thing is, it's not you can not eat alone, or you have to do everything with everyone. It's when you need a friend, I feel sorry for myself that, where are they?

I can't stop wondering, is it me or is it just something will happen to those old and single people?

In the city, on the bus, at the journay home, that question raised again in my mind: 'why are you here?' I look around where I am... I ABSOLUTELY have no clues at all!

Mike blogged from E71

New hair

Friday, watched Mama Mia, the movie, and went home keep watching TV till really late, woke up at 11 something on Saturday morning.

Thinking what to do for the weekend. Maybe another movie and a hair cut then.

Used to do things alone but still can not over come the alone-movie-watching.

Made the appointment for the hair cut, got several calls from work, complaining about each other that sort of things.

Driving car and dropped everyone off on the way.

Voila. New hair, fresh me, and nice Mike. Hehe

Mike blogged from E71

沒有電視的夜晚

最近，房間裡的電視壞了
只有聲音沒有影像
很掙扎地到底是要送修
還是換新
還是就算了

在沒有電視的夜晚裡
不是跟大家一起看電視
就是在房間裡聽聽收音機
上上網

突然懷念起
以前那種大家一起看電視的感覺
一種大家在一起的融入感

聽聽收音機的夜晚
有一種夜晚的自我空間
突然發現在在只有聲音的空間裡
空下來的視覺
可以為自己找到更多感受

腦袋裡
似乎沒有那些強迫似的置入訊息
喘個氣
讓思考完全屬於自己
不用急著批判什麼
不用急著了解什麼

隨著旋律心思
思維也跟著澄清自然起來了

新髮型

關心國家是應該的，不過偶而也關心一下自己，來點不同的吧！