好久不見

It's been a while since I last updated my blog.

Almost a year has passed by, and so many has happened in me and in my friends.
Well to name a few, I changed my job from Nippon Interier to France Fashion.
Couple friends broke up with their the other halves, and some got back together.
Some friends are going to be engaged!! (Congratulations!!)
Some are getting C country's working visa! (Finally and congratulations too!)
Some are persisting gettomg their PR whatever it costs.

Well, lifes are full of good and bad.
I'm still stucking in my visa issues and due to the first one, it's like a snow ball.
Just can't stop getting bigger.

Feel so happy for my friends wherever you are about moving forward to next step of your lives, and feel very positive for my friends wherever you are stuck in-betweens.

I remembered when I was a kid, always picturing if I grew up, there were so much I couldn't do when I was kid. Now, I cheriched the child still within me but couldn't stop teasing that child, how silly you were and how it's not possible to do whatever you want no matter how old you are.

When reality faces fatansy, sometimes, it might comflict a wonderful spark and creat an amazing result. But most of of the time, either you are forced to give up your dream, or you give in to your reality.

When I looked back to when I first started this blog, I can't stop wondering, what would have I planning for me and what have I become now? How many times I faces my dream vs. reality? and how many times exactly I have given in or out to which?

I have started praying since I was in the military. Not that I'm a stronger believer, yet when you feel helpless and so desparate, your mind needs a place to rest, to rely on. So I pray, to my ancestors, to the God, to Gods, to Buddad, to spirits. I'm not sure whether it works, cause it's never been my purpose when I prayed.

It reminds me of a movie I watched the other day, it said: if you pray for courage, do you think God will just give you courage or give you a chance to learn and gain courage? if you pray for happily ever together, do you think God will just give it to you or do you think God will give you a chance how to gain that and cherish after?

Then, I started again to review what I've been praying for. Have I gotten my chance? or have I just missed it without realising it? Life is full of choices, it's all about balancing and making the choice at the right time. Yet, I'm more curious of what would you do when you made the wrong choise at the wrong time? How do you mend that? or how do you compensate those?

Do we really always, ALWAYS get a second chance? I wonder...

One year, two jobs, and three years passed, getting over my home sick of London. Missing the time with the old friends, and missing the time of watching Friends with friends. I can still SEE the streets of London in front of me. It must have been changed so much, but still sto vivid in front of me. I could still feel the brick of the corner, and the traffic of the road.

Tonight, once again, I pray, pray for my friends, my family, for what I've done, pray. for what I'm doing, and for what I will do. Praying for if I had the chance, I would have seized it and made it right. Praying for if I could fly high, I could spread my wings and fly higher.

This is the night, I pray with hope that everything and everyone is okay.