It is one thing to realise one thing and to experience that thing.
Even you know that this is how things going to be and this is the end, you still try to fool yourself about everything. Why? I don't know... I really don't.
Wish there is someone who could tell me.
I remember the movie once said, if someone pray God to give hima happiness, do you think God will just give him/her happiness? or do you think God will give him/her a chance to have the happiness? So everything could be a test to what you pray for?
I don't understand, maybe it's a payback of what I've done for others, or maybe it's a test of what I prayed for, yet how much do I have to payback and how much test do I have to pass?
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It is all up to you...
I didn't even finish this one, cause I couldn't, as too much thoughts inside and don't know what to deal with it.
I know everything is up to me now, and like you said, I need to take it step by step to ease my own pain.
I tend to think no one's falts on this, like the saying goes: 天地不仁以萬物為芻狗。
If blaming on someone could help me, I'd definitely do that. Yet you know me, I tend to blame no one but myself. So the key point for me now is trying not to blame myself on this.
Need to see the bright side of everything right now, otherwise, I don't know how to keep going.
Life sucks, I know, but I never thought I'd encounter so many things at once. Bit overwhelming for me at this moment.
I wanna believe that one day, there will be the right person arrived and be everywhere for me and I'd do the same as well.
Like Chandler said: You make me happier than I ever thought I could be, so if you allow me, I'd spend the rest of my life to make you feel the same.
One day, that'd be my saying and one day that'd be my lover's saying.
By holding this, keep me survive and pass daily life.
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