2008年9月14日
Moron
為何我總是做出這些無聊又低能的事?
是我天生就容易吸引這種事、這種人?還是是我自己的個性造成的?
把自己累到要死,還一直怕做不好…
明知道自己好累了,但還是一直停不住地一直做…
難道我做得還不夠多嗎?就算我曾有錯,還要懲罰多久?
我突然對自己的疲累感到無限的低能!
可憐之人必有可恨之處…
增恨起我自己,似乎也掩蓋不了我的低能!
2008年9月10日
Open and Closed
Technically, one is cleaning lady, and one is the new guy, so I am officially the first staff to arrive. But considering my job position status, sudden all these technically points just made me feel even worse.
Rushing into office for a so-called urgent-in-case stuff, then it turnt out not-so-urgent-and-can-wait kind of situation. Foolish feeling sudden washed me out and hit me.
Too busy to be hung up by that as the day goes by. More and more things coming in and working like non-stop train.
when everyone is saying goodbye to you, and you still haven't thought of wrapping up and what you gonna do for the evening. You know you are going to work your asses out. Especially, when supreme level is expecting and demanding verbally that 'send it out today'. You know it's the time you have to work overtime without getting paid.
It's okay when it happens like only five days a week, and just only every week. Seriously, it's fine, but it is frustrated when you work so hard but you are only a contractor and you never know when you will get promoted to permanent even you have been told the date. Only the date is not confirmed confirm yet.
Look around the empty office and my cube, I can't stop wondering. Are we all getting what we deserved at the end? Or are we trying to give less than what people deserved? Maybe we are all the same, judgmental and critical to others, and forgiving and understanding to ourselves. Even so, the question is still there.
Switching off AC, lights, and everything, locking up the door, surrounding by the dark but the elevator button light. Even such timmy light, it's like glory in the dark. Leading and guiding you to where you want to.
Mike blogged from E71
2008年9月8日
Gym
After I got back at the end of 2005, never a good time, good mood to keep exercising. Maybe just excuses, but the FIT and HEALTHY me are 'gone with LONDON'. Instead, the old slumpy, chubby, lazy Mike has returned.
Finally, took the chance to join the gym, but just like what I expected, my life hasn't settled down yet. So many expected and surprise are filling my time. Even I got time sometimes, I jusy don't feel energetic enough to move my fat ass up to the gym. Just so pathetic.
After almost 11 months working in this job, feeling like everything is on the trend and stablising. All the way back to home and gym, it's bit too much for me.
Good thing that my friend and his wife are going to the gym near the office. Prepared like my very first time to the gym, I met them there around seven thirty.
One hour is like so little contributing to my fat burning plan, I jogged. Now, I am on the MRT to home, wondering... How about Wed? Say, try to make it at least twice a week first, and maybe three times? Listening the announcement of my stop, my legs are aching and my mind is... blank...
Mike blogged from E71
2008年9月4日
Friends
Of Friends. The old time memory just flashed back...
London, old street, biscter, oxford street, selfridge, bond street, waterstone...
Memory fill in my eyes...
Mike from E71
Busted
It's not that you can NOT go right now, but it's like you are not supposed to leave so early.
Finally, when you squeezed in the packed bus and then the MRT train, your boss called and asked you whether you are still in the office. Then asked you something you should probably know but you' know better when you are in the office kind of question.
Oh well.. Life!
Mike from e71
2008年9月1日
Website
Out of the blue, one question was thrown on my face, 'why did you come to the website?' I was so blank at that moment and I didn't know what to say. Well, actually, the first thought came to me is: what the hxxl is this question? I almsot shouted back as then what the heck are you chatting with me then?
Blimey, it's like, when you went to a restaurent and then the owner, or the staff, or even the worst, the chef asked you: why did you come to restaurent? Hello~ to eat, okay? What else you go to a restaurent? Fine, I will give you to-use-toilet!
What upsetted me is not this question, but what this incident reminds me.
The other day, I HAD to go out and dealed some errands. Just like all parents around the world, where are you going? Whom are you going with? When will you come back? Even when you stay put at home, questions never end. (FYI, it is the culture thing to live with family.)
In order to avoid TOO many questions on my day off, I decided to go out for a bit and maybe a lunch out.
So you figured it shouldn't be that hard to find a friend to come out for a quick lunch. Well at least for me, it's really not that much to ask.
Going through the phone book, digging your memory of closed friends. Finally, you realised that there is NO ONE!
The thing is, it's not you can not eat alone, or you have to do everything with everyone. It's when you need a friend, I feel sorry for myself that, where are they?
I can't stop wondering, is it me or is it just something will happen to those old and single people?
In the city, on the bus, at the journay home, that question raised again in my mind: 'why are you here?' I look around where I am... I ABSOLUTELY have no clues at all!
Mike blogged from E71
2008年8月30日
New hair
Thinking what to do for the weekend. Maybe another movie and a hair cut then.
Used to do things alone but still can not over come the alone-movie-watching.
Made the appointment for the hair cut, got several calls from work, complaining about each other that sort of things.
Driving car and dropped everyone off on the way.
Voila. New hair, fresh me, and nice Mike. Hehe
Mike blogged from E71
2008年8月29日
End of August
Exactly, that's what I said. Suddenly hit me of my COMTRACT thing. Oh yes, it is the date I was told about my premanent status.
As usual, it is a busy day. Hardly got the chance to ask, nor too busy in our depaetment to approach this issue. About lunch time, all the business seems to be a mean guy mocking us piling down out of the blue.
Sit down and a talk. Well as expected, 'seeing is believe.' even agent X always told us, 'I wanna believe.' So keep waiting to see the real thing then.
Busy and busy, no time to think. So many new product launching in Sept, so little time to release the necessary information, plus the last piece of knowledge just in. Planned to leave earlier after so much hard work, ends up leaving at six thirty.
Second thought, it is EARLIER compared to my normal working hour.
So end of Aug, and beginning of Sept. Instead of seeing it as a month end, preparing a new start. After all, life goes on, and you move on.
Mike blogged from E71
2008年8月28日
度小月
I thought it'd be difficult to find a place to eat, yet just turn a corner into a non-main street ally. Voila! Packed with new and fancy restaurents.
Not that easy to find one, especial when you don't know what to eat. Of course, you know those chain dinner places. It is okay, bit expensive, but very easy and at least you know it is OKAY.
旦仔麵, well, it's like NEVER go wrong, isn't it? One 肉圓 to go with my noodle. Perfect!
The portion of the 'meat ball' is like bigger than you'd think of. Okay, maybe that can explain the PRICE. Just when you thought you understand something, the noodle is served, unbeleivible small, and nearly dry, considering you ordered a noodle soup.
Taste is alright. To sum up, traditional, fancy local place. Only the price is not that local.
Mike blogged from E71
2008年8月27日
LATE and dream
But we all know what will happen. You go home, takes about one hour, and then you feel straving even you know that it is too late to eat and bad for your digestion. Certainly it will help to put on more weight. YOU EAT ANYWAY.
It's the time when you wonder, huh, should I just take taxi home? But not late enough for you to claim company cost. You think over while waiting for the bus...
One trip costs X, and you probably work LATE like every DAY only! So, about 20 X every month. Deduct your salary, or calculating the share. You suddenly realise, Wow, that is where your salary goes every month.
No wonder you work so hard, but never really see anything in your bank account.
Then you start to plan, huh, if I save the money every month. Then, I will have 20 X extra every month, then I will have 240 X a year! That sure is something compared to what I made every month!
So you started to plan how to EFFICIENTLY use this money. So much of a modern, intelligent collar level!
Before you knew it, you are a billionaire in your plan, and you missed your bus! Then it is raining now.
Mike blogged from E71
2008年8月26日
Testing Mobile Blog
This could be a new chance for me to write more and to share more.
Mike blogged from E71
2008年8月24日
好久不見
Almost a year has passed by, and so many has happened in me and in my friends.
Well to name a few, I changed my job from Nippon Interier to France Fashion.
Couple friends broke up with their the other halves, and some got back together.
Some friends are going to be engaged!! (Congratulations!!)
Some are getting C country's working visa! (Finally and congratulations too!)
Some are persisting gettomg their PR whatever it costs.
Well, lifes are full of good and bad.
I'm still stucking in my visa issues and due to the first one, it's like a snow ball.
Just can't stop getting bigger.
Feel so happy for my friends wherever you are about moving forward to next step of your lives, and feel very positive for my friends wherever you are stuck in-betweens.
I remembered when I was a kid, always picturing if I grew up, there were so much I couldn't do when I was kid. Now, I cheriched the child still within me but couldn't stop teasing that child, how silly you were and how it's not possible to do whatever you want no matter how old you are.
When reality faces fatansy, sometimes, it might comflict a wonderful spark and creat an amazing result. But most of of the time, either you are forced to give up your dream, or you give in to your reality.
When I looked back to when I first started this blog, I can't stop wondering, what would have I planning for me and what have I become now? How many times I faces my dream vs. reality? and how many times exactly I have given in or out to which?
I have started praying since I was in the military. Not that I'm a stronger believer, yet when you feel helpless and so desparate, your mind needs a place to rest, to rely on. So I pray, to my ancestors, to the God, to Gods, to Buddad, to spirits. I'm not sure whether it works, cause it's never been my purpose when I prayed.
It reminds me of a movie I watched the other day, it said: if you pray for courage, do you think God will just give you courage or give you a chance to learn and gain courage? if you pray for happily ever together, do you think God will just give it to you or do you think God will give you a chance how to gain that and cherish after?
Then, I started again to review what I've been praying for. Have I gotten my chance? or have I just missed it without realising it? Life is full of choices, it's all about balancing and making the choice at the right time. Yet, I'm more curious of what would you do when you made the wrong choise at the wrong time? How do you mend that? or how do you compensate those?
Do we really always, ALWAYS get a second chance? I wonder...
One year, two jobs, and three years passed, getting over my home sick of London. Missing the time with the old friends, and missing the time of watching Friends with friends. I can still SEE the streets of London in front of me. It must have been changed so much, but still sto vivid in front of me. I could still feel the brick of the corner, and the traffic of the road.
Tonight, once again, I pray, pray for my friends, my family, for what I've done, pray. for what I'm doing, and for what I will do. Praying for if I had the chance, I would have seized it and made it right. Praying for if I could fly high, I could spread my wings and fly higher.
This is the night, I pray with hope that everything and everyone is okay.
2007年10月28日
2007年10月6日
十六年
我們坐了下來
一起用餐
相對而望
這多年來的空白與曾經擁有的
似乎有說不完卻又不知從何說起的畏縮
害怕的是
話不說,下一次的相逢,又會是另一個十六年?
擔心的是
話一說,時間有這麼長,夠我們一直相談嗎?
你說 有件事很急 要馬上去辦
我說 那下次有機會再聊吧
你說 留下來等我吧
匆忙走得你 被我叫住
傘帶著吧?
你說 留下來一起陪我
清晨的豪雨驚醒我
在夢中沒有拿傘的人
才發現
這些年來的流浪 這些年來的尋覓
我當年早已擁有
彷如當年的第一次約
我過站而不自知
走了好大一圈再回到原點時
才發現原來就是我剛開始的地方
當時的你 等了我好久 也擔心了好久
而這次十六年這一圈
你忘了拿傘
我忘了給你
2007年9月13日
2007年8月19日
2007年7月30日
台灣地位三大迷思
在開羅宣言中,三巨頭(美、英、中)同意並簽署,日本將台灣的主權歸點中國。
台灣是中國的一部份,在聯合國決議文2758號文中決議。
中華民國退出聯合國。
事實:
聯合國2758號決議文:
「回顧聯合國憲章的原則,考慮到,恢復中華人民共和國的合法權利對於維護聯合國憲章和聯合國組織根據憲章所必須從事的事業都是必不可少的,承認中華人民共和國政府的代表是中國在聯合國組織的唯一合法代表,中華人民共和國是安全理事會5個常任理事會之一,決定:恢復中華人民共和國的一切權利,承認她的政府的代表為中國在聯合國組織的唯一合法代表並立即把蔣介石的代表從它在聯合國組織及其所屬一切機構中所非法占據的席位上驅逐出去。」
決議文中,只說明二件事:一、中華民國在聯合國的所有地位及權利,由中華人民共和國取代。換句話說,中華人民共和國繼承了中華民國在聯合國的一切。二、蔣介石政權被驅逐聯合國。
因此,中華民國的合法性,在全世界的認同裡,只有一個:中華人民共和國。中華民國並沒有退出聯合國,退出的是蔣介石政權,而且不是退出,是被2758號決議文,驅逐自聯合國組織。此決議文中,除了這二點,並沒有提到任何有關台灣的事。
也許,有人會說,決議文中,說明了,中華人民共和國繼承了中華民國的所有一切權利,那台灣在開羅宣言中,台灣已經給了中國,所以台灣是中國一部份。
我們來看看開羅宣言:
CAIRO CONFERENCE
November, 1943
(Dept. of State Bulletin, Vol. IX, p. 393)Released December 1, 1943
The several military missions have agreed upon future military operations against Japan. The Three Great Allies expressed their resolve to bring unrelenting pressure against their brutal enemies by sea, land, and air. This pressure is already mounting.
The Three Great Allies are fighting this war to restrain and punish the aggression of Japan. They covet no gain for themselves and have no thought of territorial expansion. It is their purpose that Japan shall be stripped of all the islands in the Pacific which she has seized or occupied since the beginning of the first World War in 1914, and that all the territories Japan has stolen form the Chinese, such as Manchuria, Formosa, and the Pescadores, shall be restored to the Republic of China. Japan will also be expelled from all other territories which she has taken by violence and greed. The aforesaid three great powers, mindful of the enslavement of the people of Korea, are determined that in due course Korea shall become free and independent.
With these objects in view the three Allies, in harmony with those of the United Nations at war with Japan, will continue to persevere in the serious and prolonged operations necessary to procure the unconditional surrender of Japan.(中文內容概述)
雖然在開羅宣言中,有明確指出,包括福爾摩莎要歸還給中華民國,但事實上,這份開羅宣言,並沒有任何人簽署。因此,是否有法律效用,一直是大家爭論的重點。在FAPA(Formosa Association of Public Affairs)二○○七年六月五日至函美國國家檔案室的回覆:The National Archives and Records Administration has not filed this declaration under "Treaties."
換一句話說,美國國家檔案室並未將這份所謂的開羅宣言視為一份絛約。
從歷史上來看,當時的蘇聯並未參加,是以蘇聯尚未向日本宣戰為理由拒絕參加。而當時的蘇聯與中國的關係,並未如美國那麼需要,反而,蘇聯希望從戰爭中,獲取中國的領土及權利。英國參加會議的目的,是因為英國當時覺得美國太重視亞洲戰場,而輕視歐洲戰場,希望經由這個會議,說服美國。
到底為何這份宣言,最後都沒有人簽名,爭議還是有。有一種說法是,英國首相邱吉爾先生及美國總統羅斯福,不同意將福爾摩莎歸給中國所有,因此沒有簽。因為福爾摩莎在戰爭開始,就是屬於日本,並非日本戰爭後,才攻佔所有的。無論如何,這份宣言沒有人正式簽名,換句話說,這份宣言,有沒有國際法地位,還有待爭議。
更不用說,英、美為了拉攏蘇聯而在之後1943年的德黑蘭會議中,推翻開羅宣言中的協定。1945年,美國投下原子戰,日本在投降聲明中,說明了,日本接受波茨坎宣言,在波茨坎宣言中,提到開羅宣言應該被實行。但是,重點是在於,這時,日本並未與同盟國簽定任何和約,再加上美蘇關係緊張,1951年舊金山和約簽定時,日本才與英、美簽定,中國政權當時並未參加的原因,是因為中國國民黨與中國共產黨的內戰爆發,而1949年,中國共產黨在中國宣布成立中華人民共和國,英、美政權不確定,到底誰才能代表中國簽定和約。而蘇聯政權當然支持其所扶持的中華人民共和國,因此,在這種情形下,由日本自己決定,對中國的和約部份,與那一個中國的政權簽定和約。日本當時選擇了蔣政權,但是在美、日共同的認知下,這個選擇,並不代表視蔣政權為中國的唯一合法代表。
在這份正式的和約中,有關台灣的問題,說明如下:
(b) Japan renounces all right, title and claim to Formosa and the Pescadores.
(中文概述)
也就是日本放棄福爾摩莎及澎湖的主權,但是,主權歸誰,並沒明說。
結論:
一、開羅宣言的確說明了,福爾摩莎給中國。但是,在當時的時空背景下,同盟國之間的權力鬥爭,當時的協議,在很多時候被犧牲了。但是,當時這份宣言,並未有任何人簽署,連蔣介石也沒有簽署。而日本最後與國際間,承認且正式簽定的和平協定中,並未對開羅宣言(或之後的波茨坎宣言),有關福爾摩莎及澎湖主權再做任何承認,而是簽定放棄福爾摩莎及澎湖的主權。這份和平協定,當時是由蔣政權代表簽定的,而當時蔣政權已流亡在台,所以理所當然的視台灣,為其政權為包含。並打算利用,日本留下來的資源,做其反攻中國共產黨的基礎。台、澎的地位,很明顯在當時,並沒有被蔣政權所在乎。
二、聯合國2758號決議文,並沒有指明有關台灣的任何問題。只是決定,中華民國在聯合國的席次,及中華民國在世界上所有合法擁有的,由中華人民共和國繼承。換句話說,蔣政權在當時簽的舊金山和約,也被中華人民共和國繼承了。
三、中華民國並沒有退出聯合國,其會員權利在聯合國中,被中華人民共和國繼承了。被退出(其實是驅逐)只有蔣氏政權。
2007年6月24日
沒有電視的夜晚
只有聲音沒有影像
很掙扎地到底是要送修
還是換新
還是就算了
在沒有電視的夜晚裡
不是跟大家一起看電視
就是在房間裡聽聽收音機
上上網
突然懷念起
以前那種大家一起看電視的感覺
一種大家在一起的融入感
聽聽收音機的夜晚
有一種夜晚的自我空間
突然發現在在只有聲音的空間裡
空下來的視覺
可以為自己找到更多感受
腦袋裡
似乎沒有那些強迫似的置入訊息
喘個氣
讓思考完全屬於自己
不用急著批判什麼
不用急著了解什麼
隨著旋律心思
思維也跟著澄清自然起來了








