Party end

Don't you always have a feeling that you are distant from a certain group and you know already at the beginning that this is what you put yourself into, but still you feel a little bit left over?

You know the isolation from certain group that even everyone is chatting you but you still don't feel that you belong to something! That's the distance you never can get rid off and you will always have.

I can't stop thinking deeper that where is this feeling come from? I know that I am just being jealous but again when I look at myself I work hard enough, it's not just you want to be awarded. It's like Oscar, of course all the spot goes to all the actors and actress, but at least, they reward those people behind the scene!

You want to feel you are part of the team but again you are just part of yourself.

So tired and lost now, maybe it's the loneliness after the party, maybe it's just some low pay White collar complaining about life and career, or maybe it's just me can't find a balance between reality and fantasy.

On the way home, thoughts keep coming up and can't get rid off. Threading these thoughts, I am struggling to get a breathe from the gap. Breathe in and out, in and out, ...

Mike from iPhone

Work

It has been up and down for me doing this position.

I do love this job and I do work hard, but ask me to give up my life and devout myself TOTALLY into this job is totally another thing.

When you work hard to some level, and you lost the reason when you came to this job, isn't it bit confusing and frustrated? How do you mend a situation like this? I really don't know!

If you don't want to sacristy yourslef to your job, why does that make you a bad employer? How much more so toy have to do in order to price yourself?

What if what you have been doing is not exact what your boss what, then aren't I wasting all the time of myself? Doesn't that mean no matter how hard you work, you could prove nothing to no one but yourself?

There is only two possible explanations, one, you don't have whatever it takes to do this job properly. Two, your boss just don't appreciate what you have been doing or you are not doing what you are expected to do.

Either way, doesn't it make you wonder then why on earth are you doing here? I know it's not happen everyday that you'd get a job you have been dreaming of nor that you'd find a job with a perfect boss!

However, for the long run, don't you think it's something you really need to put into consideration as your career? You wanna work for yourself eventually one day, no?

Weekend, after two days working in Kaohsiung and two weeks non stop OT, you are putting thoughts for yourself.

Mike from iPhone

Coffee and London

I am in the starbucks with the wrong pair of shoes drinking the hot grande non fat latte.

What a nice Sunday afternoon!

Been to the department store like usual and shopping for several books, well before that you got to evaluate your possible mood for the coming weeks to prepare what kind of books you wanna digest.

Funny that you would realize ham you are exploring the bookshore, you'd find out that some 'story' you prefer to see of on screen rather than books, even you know that it is going to me much more details and fun in the book. Guess I am not much an 'imaginary' person!

It's been a while I am home alone for the weekend. Remind me a lot of my stay at London. Life is so different of course, but again I worked my ass off to this job and I do love this job. Will I trade off what I have now to staying in London?

This is not even a fair question to begin with, who knows what I would have if I stayed in London? But LV? Guess it's not just something you could just give up, even just an assistant!

But the thought of comapring these two together, I realized I am not over London yet, I am not sure whether I could ever do that in my life, especially when the end turned out so ugly and wrong!

How could you get over the thought of 'what if'? I guess that's something I've never gotten off with, and you know what, I don't even wanna get over!

Mike blogged from iPhone

On the way back home

Just realise that it has been a while since last time I wrote something for my blog.

After using this new mobile, everything is still learning and trying to get used to thr GUI and keyborad.

Life hasn't been easy for me recently, even BBB has changed her attitude. I am not sure whether it's because I am doing better than before or what. Only who knows when everything will change back again.

From my experience, retail never goes along with merchandising. Who knows what day whay will happen and it becomes my fault or my responsibility. You just have to be careful and do things in a more discrete way.

I am sure everyone has their own standard and expectation. There is never a perfect way for one thing. The best we could do, I suppose is to try to find a way everyone can understand and accept. Yet this is based on, of course, everyone is on board to reach the same target with the same mind. Otherwise, everything is just like total useless and at the end, everyone is just trying to find someone to blame on.

That's life. What you gonna do about it? Like we always say to ourselves: do your best and do what you can. The rest is up to fate. What is yours is yours.

Mike blogged from X1

Work Thoughts

On the way home after whole day's frustration, I couldn't stop wondering how worst the situation could be. I'm at my mid thirty and still an assistant. I worked so hard but seems never good enough.

The bottom line is I love this job and I care for this job to do this much. Yet, how much is enough and how much is the most I could take.

When I was in the army, I used to work with this officer, it's never been easy. He is no doubt a nice person, but just difficult. I couldn't remember how long I suffered from this, but I survived.

All this reminded me of that situation back then, I suffered cause I have to. Now I suffered for my passion of fashion. Heaven knows what I have been doing and working. What is fair? I really don't know. At the end of the day, you are still judged.

Good or bad? I couldn't control all, but I wanna tell myself that I have no sorry for anything or anyone.

I don't think myself so important that I'm irreplaceable. I'm just like everyone, trying to work the best way for all.

I don't think myself is so good and talented that I could do anything either.

When is the time I'd stop thinking all this? I don't know. Maybe one day, maybe that day will never come. Maybe it's the day when I think enough is enough, then that's another story.

Mike blogged from E71

A Toast to My Best Friends' Weddings

Just realise that I'd be in KHH all next week until Nov 1, so guess I won't be seeing you again before you guys leave.

Wanna take this chance to say thank you very much and I know u guys have been doing so much for this weddings, sorry, engagement.
It's really not that easy to find someone in this world, believe me, I've been trying. You guys are so lucky. I never got the good chances to really know ur other halves. But from what I learn from you guys and what had been thru for you two couples, I really feel that this is the existing evidence of happily ever.

There is no perfect marriage nor perfect couple, despite all the crap movies and novels told us. The important is I see you guys are working so hard for this to work. With all the differences, all the distance, all the secrets, all the sad and happy, you guys still work thru.
when I stood next the stage, I looked at you two couples, I looked the expression when you looked at each other. I told myself, that is love, that is the commitment you make for each other no matter good or bad.
Congratulations. I really never got the chances to say how happy I am for you guys and how touched I am when I knew how Maurizio and Aingaran are willingly to cooperate and do all this. I am sure after all this, there should be nothing can stand between you guys.

There is no guarantee for always happy, but I am not worried at all. Cause I now know, no matter what happened, you have each other and you will work together to pass all. That's genuine, and that's sincere.
Just for the record, I am not a big fan of weddings, nor attending one, only for really good friends.

If I had a glass now, I'd raise mine and wish u all the best. I'd like to make this as a toast I might not be able to attend your weddings in the uk or in italy.

I wish all the happiness for you.

Mike Toasted from E71

Talee Starplace Opening

Arrived KHH on Monday afternoon, work after work like never ends, requests from new store, requests from AP team, requests from bosses, requests from other stores, STOP REQUESTING!
Finally, everything is ready for opening party on Friday. It's like watching a babe been born. Brought my memory back to London, when Biscister Village was opening. It was a tough one, but we managed. I still remembered on the opening party, I spilled the champagne on one boot. Lol what a good memory.

Also, the memory of opening the first Taiwan store when I worked for last company. It was totally nightmare. Nothing felt be prepared back then, and our so called team were not working together. It was a mess, but some how we managed it to work.

The first time, I was followed the instructions by the store manager. Second time, I was one of the decision makers and planned to make things working. This time, I am followed the instructions and responsible for things needed to be reinforced. Three openings, three positions, what an experience I have to say.

Lots of celebrities has been invited to the opening party and ribbon cutting. After all, compared to previous, this is the top luxury brand of the world. You'd see a lot a lot more than others.

The job is not done as the store has just been open. Yet to see it from nothing to something, it is really something you participate part of it. You are not trying to take any credit for this, but you just feel so proud of what has been done. Maybe not perfectly, but nothing is perfect in the world.

Mike blogged from E71

Match

Listening to the pop music from the UK, tried to read the suspicious novel about the Knight of Templar.

Honestly, they just don't match. Needed a blank moment, so let my mind rest for now.

Mike blogged from E71

Saturday Night

It's Saturday Night, I'm passing the busiest street in Taipei. Even I wanna take a walk along the street and feel the saturday and night. I'm still too tired to walk for two blocks.

Getting in the taxi, on the way home now. What a day and what a weekend.

Mike blogged from E71

Miss

Just missed the bus when I turned the corner of my street, thinking what the chances when you are bit late for your morning.

It takes about another five minutes before another one arrived. Down the way off the hill, suddenly I saw the bus I missed couple minutes ago. Breaking sign resting behind the bus in the middle of the road. An accident has occurred. Not serious but someone was sitting on the ground, one feet was bleeding. All the passengers are transferred to the one I took.

Keep the journey of my morning, I can't stop wondering the chances in life. I remember an old British movie, sliding door, talking about how life could be so different from each other just couple minutes.

We all always wonder the once a life time opportunity just around the corner, the right person in your life just next to you, all the good just coming in next second. Maybe that's how we comfort ourselves from the depression, and frustration in life. Maybe it's just an escape for all of us to a one moment piece in mind. Maybe after all, everyone needs a hope after all the disasters Pandora released to the world.

Interestingly, I can't stop wonder from time to time, how do we know what exact we missed? How could we always presume that the missing part is much better than now we have now? What if you are already in the good part, you missed the bad. Of course, how would we know since we didn't see the bad. So maybe what we have been thinking of having is already had or having.

So here is the big question in life, what exact do we miss in life? What exact do you miss in your life? Or even what do you want for your life? Let's not be cynical but optimistic, so what have you been doing for your life?

Mike blogged from E71

PS: This is not the bus I missed this morning, or is it?

Beer

It's the time when you realise that beer doesn't taste that good when drinking alone.

It's the time when you realise actual you enjoy more drinking with your friends than the beer.

So how do you like your beer?

Mike blogged from E71

thoughts

On the way to office this morning, I was thinking about whether I should read the novel I has been reading every morning or I should write something about my thoughts recently or I should listen to music and think nothing.

Our new boss is coming today and I am supposed to arrive office earlier ( yeah like I never arrive office early). What I should wear so I look formal enough but not over dress and at the same time, you can see fashion in me that tells I am a merchandiser, not just some random professional office geek. Not easy when you put your dress so political.

Thinking so much at the same time and trying to catch earlier train and bus, when I finally arrived MRT station and saw a guy carrying a bag, it hit me that I totally forgot I need to bring my colleague's shoes which she asked my help. So not multi-functional brian.

Listening to music and trying to relax, thoughts coming out from no where and can't stop. Might as well just typing them all down then.

There are no orders nor logical about these thoughts. They just popped out from my mind, somewhere inside my mind.

The more I put down, the more about these thoughts are floating and visualising. It goes to a place that I am no longer talking my thoughts but the thought itself. Fascinating!

Isn't that how amazing your mind can lead you or the other way runs? Do you stop cause you want to or just because your mind wants to stop?

Music is playing into my ears via the headset connected by cable to the player. In the order of my selection, bit casual and light blue in a way to work with my mood now.

Hmmm... It's time to stop here.

Mike blogged from E71

Wonder

On the way to office this morning, I can't stop thinking what had happened these couple days. Inside and outside, I was moody in a way but I didn't know why. I was sad, happy and tiresome, but I have no clue at all.

Enjoying listening and chatting, yet some topics bothered me. Wondering when listening, was it because of the thing I don't have in the topic or was it because the person in the topic? Guess I will never know and won't have a chance to know.

Somehow, I am buried in my busy works and my family. I did try to make a move hoping some changes. Just like the old saying, it takes two to tango. Maybe I have been practicing solo so long that I forget how to do a duel, or maybe it is just me too clumsy at this that I fail to recruit a partner.

Seeing the long-time-no-see blue sky, feeling the lasting and when-it-will-go-away heat, these thoughts and wonders can't stop popping out my head. If this doesn't happen that much in life, then is it the same to others? Does the other feel the same thing I feel and felt? How are you gonna cope with all these un-solved issues when you are the only one has it? Or even, if it's the mutual feeling, what's next?

Here... comes the bus and life goes on.

Mike blogged from E71

Tainan

On the day off for moon festival, requested by a Spanish friend, we came to the very first official city, Tainan. This is also my very first to visit the city in a deeper and culture way.

Heard from time to time that Taiwan was ruled, or occupied by different races, regimes. Yet you never really get the chance to see it in person. Even this trip is totally not planned nor scheduled, full of amazing and surprise if I have to put a sentence for it.

The weather and temperature is especially nice after Typhoon. If you have to so picky about it, okay, I will give you bit stuffy and humid here.

The fort, temple and buildings are actually built, destroied, and re-built by dutch, chinese, japanese, and chinese. You see the culture, but you also feel the changing and cruelty of glory and shame.

Sitting inside the fort, listening to the song by birds, sweating and thirsty, history just like the time flowed by and away.

Mike blogged from E71

Moron

不了解，到底是我那裡出了問題？
為何我總是做出這些無聊又低能的事？
是我天生就容易吸引這種事、這種人？還是是我自己的個性造成的？

把自己累到要死，還一直怕做不好…
明知道自己好累了，但還是一直停不住地一直做…

難道我做得還不夠多嗎？就算我曾有錯，還要懲罰多久？

我突然對自己的疲累感到無限的低能！
可憐之人必有可恨之處…

增恨起我自己，似乎也掩蓋不了我的低能！

Open and Closed

Requested by supreme level, I arrived 'QUITE' early in the office, there was no one, well, actually, two people waiting outside the door. I was the first one arrived with the key.

Technically, one is cleaning lady, and one is the new guy, so I am officially the first staff to arrive. But considering my job position status, sudden all these technically points just made me feel even worse.

Rushing into office for a so-called urgent-in-case stuff, then it turnt out not-so-urgent-and-can-wait kind of situation. Foolish feeling sudden washed me out and hit me.

Too busy to be hung up by that as the day goes by. More and more things coming in and working like non-stop train.

when everyone is saying goodbye to you, and you still haven't thought of wrapping up and what you gonna do for the evening. You know you are going to work your asses out. Especially, when supreme level is expecting and demanding verbally that 'send it out today'. You know it's the time you have to work overtime without getting paid.

It's okay when it happens like only five days a week, and just only every week. Seriously, it's fine, but it is frustrated when you work so hard but you are only a contractor and you never know when you will get promoted to permanent even you have been told the date. Only the date is not confirmed confirm yet.

Look around the empty office and my cube, I can't stop wondering. Are we all getting what we deserved at the end? Or are we trying to give less than what people deserved? Maybe we are all the same, judgmental and critical to others, and forgiving and understanding to ourselves. Even so, the question is still there.

Switching off AC, lights, and everything, locking up the door, surrounding by the dark but the elevator button light. Even such timmy light, it's like glory in the dark. Leading and guiding you to where you want to.

Mike blogged from E71

Gym

It's like never, since I started this job. Where is my time all go to?

After I got back at the end of 2005, never a good time, good mood to keep exercising. Maybe just excuses, but the FIT and HEALTHY me are 'gone with LONDON'. Instead, the old slumpy, chubby, lazy Mike has returned.

Finally, took the chance to join the gym, but just like what I expected, my life hasn't settled down yet. So many expected and surprise are filling my time. Even I got time sometimes, I jusy don't feel energetic enough to move my fat ass up to the gym. Just so pathetic.

After almost 11 months working in this job, feeling like everything is on the trend and stablising. All the way back to home and gym, it's bit too much for me.

Good thing that my friend and his wife are going to the gym near the office. Prepared like my very first time to the gym, I met them there around seven thirty.

One hour is like so little contributing to my fat burning plan, I jogged. Now, I am on the MRT to home, wondering... How about Wed? Say, try to make it at least twice a week first, and maybe three times? Listening the announcement of my stop, my legs are aching and my mind is... blank...

Mike blogged from E71

Friends

Watching the very first couple season
Of Friends. The old time memory just flashed back...

London, old street, biscter, oxford street, selfridge, bond street, waterstone...

Memory fill in my eyes...

Mike from E71

Busted

Just when you thought everyone has left and you probably finished every little thing you have to urgent. The rest is like those never ending story. So why not give yourself a bit more free time for yourself and go home earlier.

It's not that you can NOT go right now, but it's like you are not supposed to leave so early.

Finally, when you squeezed in the packed bus and then the MRT train, your boss called and asked you whether you are still in the office. Then asked you something you should probably know but you' know better when you are in the office kind of question.

Oh well.. Life!

Mike from e71

Website

Yesterday, I was chatting with someone from website. You know from one of those 'friends making' places.

Out of the blue, one question was thrown on my face, 'why did you come to the website?' I was so blank at that moment and I didn't know what to say. Well, actually, the first thought came to me is: what the hxxl is this question? I almsot shouted back as then what the heck are you chatting with me then?

Blimey, it's like, when you went to a restaurent and then the owner, or the staff, or even the worst, the chef asked you: why did you come to restaurent? Hello~ to eat, okay? What else you go to a restaurent? Fine, I will give you to-use-toilet!

What upsetted me is not this question, but what this incident reminds me.

The other day, I HAD to go out and dealed some errands. Just like all parents around the world, where are you going? Whom are you going with? When will you come back? Even when you stay put at home, questions never end. (FYI, it is the culture thing to live with family.)

In order to avoid TOO many questions on my day off, I decided to go out for a bit and maybe a lunch out.

So you figured it shouldn't be that hard to find a friend to come out for a quick lunch. Well at least for me, it's really not that much to ask.

Going through the phone book, digging your memory of closed friends. Finally, you realised that there is NO ONE!

The thing is, it's not you can not eat alone, or you have to do everything with everyone. It's when you need a friend, I feel sorry for myself that, where are they?

I can't stop wondering, is it me or is it just something will happen to those old and single people?

In the city, on the bus, at the journay home, that question raised again in my mind: 'why are you here?' I look around where I am... I ABSOLUTELY have no clues at all!

Mike blogged from E71